Expectations vs Reality

Expectations vs Reality:

Before getting into this field, I didn’t have any expectations. I thought IT would be an easy field but literally, it has ripped me apart and it’s just the 2nd semester. My mind literally blows up when I think I have to spend 8 long semesters before eventually graduating.
The thing that hurts the most in this life is regret. Yeah it really does. Sometimes I think I should have studied B.B.A which was a course of suitable choice for a student of management who had taken Business Studies as a major in two years duration.
But my mind thought B.B.A is an old out-dated course and IT is really important in today’s modern world and shit like that. Turned out, I was wrong. B.B.A is still most valuable course. The big business executives we see today, the bankers, the self-made entrepreneurs are mostly the B.B.A graduates.
If you ask me then I literally didn’t have any plans for future. I was taking everything for granted which is the biggest mistake in my life. I sometimes regret about it but later on I just convince myself saying it’s worthless to think about the past.
So, B.I.M was the course of my interest after completion of plus two. I had no expectations or whatever from this course. I just knew this course is blend of IT and Management. Management was not a new concept for me. But the term “Information Technology” really blew me up. I thought wouldn’t it be great learning the new technology along with the management concepts? I thought it would be fun.
The first semester was exiting. I found Maths hard but I always used to find it hard since my education started so it was not the new case for me. Things starting getting bad when the board exam came near. The days were passing peacefully before that. To make the matter worse, I found out that I am in doubt whether I would be pass in the first semester or not. The subject tally which I doubted counted to 3 namely; Maths, Digital Logic and English. Yeah English too. Fuck my life. The first semester results are on the way and I am praying to the god every single day to somehow make me pass, I am sorry if I missed any day.
Eventually, we all got into the 2nd semester. The subjects were much harder than 1st semester. Especially, C programming and Discrete Maths were harder than any other subjects. I actually skipped my C programming examination twice. The field which I was most excited about when I eventually got into the field of IT was programming and to be realistic, I have got not even a 1% of what I expected.
I thought programming would be a fun thing to do but it didn’t really turn out like that. The C programming was so dull that I almost gave up on it. You know I was weak in mathematics from my childhood. My logic building skills are also no good either. This automatically makes me a bad programmer. Literally, array, loop, structures, pointers have ruined my life. If anyone asks how my condition is right now, I would say:
printf(“life damage”);
But I would not give up so easily. Yeah hard times come in everyone’s lives. But you have to live through it rather than skipping it. I convince myself by saying, it’s okay to make a mistake right now but later at the professional life, you can’t afford to make mistake. I just try to do my best today and hope for the better tomorrow.

-Rohan Raj Mudvari