Fear and I share very old friendship together. It has deprived me from many opportunities in life as I can tell that it's one of the uninvited friend of mine in every situation. I should have ended in different situation as compared to what I am experiencing right now. The constant feeling of approval, dying for someone else's attention, dependent on dopamine in most of the situation is some of the thing which applies to me.
I have been constantly attacked by depression at times and at most of the times, I only have myself to blame. I know I have the ability to change this and bring my life back to the track but it requires serious motivation and serious willingness to change as well.
However, I do have the realization that something should change quick otherwise I'll just get stuck to this loop forever. This is the time.